Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Life With Bennett: No one could have prepared me for this...

This sweet boy has stolen my heart...

Plank Photography
And while people have always told me that there is no love quite like the love you have for your children...I was in no way prepared for the feelings that overcame me the day this little guy came into the world. 

Sure...I knew I loved him from the minute I found out I was pregnant...but it was still an abstract sort of love. It was still the "idea" of a baby and the idea of being a mommy.

At our 20 week ultrasound seeing our baby, looking like a baby and knowing that HE would be joining our family in 4 months only made this love grow...

But again...this love was still so abstract. I knew were were going to be mommy and daddy to a sweet little boy that I couldn't wait to meet...but I had never met him, so while I loved him...I had no idea to what extent I would love him once he was here.

On March 30th, Bennett Oliver Smith came into our lives like a wrecking ball to the heart...his first 30 minutes of life were scary and unsettling. I had only held my sweet little boy in my arms for seconds before he was whisked away, but all it took were those few seconds for me to realize that there was nothing in the world I wouldn't do for my son and my heart ached with worry and fear.

Hearing our little boy cry for the first time was such an emotional that filled me with relief and oh so much love.

When they finally brought him to me nothing else in the world mattered...I was smitten and couldn't take my eyes of this perfect little human that we created.

Over the last few weeks I have cried more tears than I have ever cried in my life...and while I am sure the massive amounts of hormones coursing through my body have something to do with it...these tears are mostly due to the fact that I am so damn happy.

I don't think I realized until that moment when I first held my baby how much I wanted and needed to be a mom. My heart is so full of love and joy when I look into his eyes. My heart nearly explodes out of my chest every time he does something we deem cute (which is every single second!)

Our lives before this had always been filled with so much love and happiness...but our lil' man filled a hole I didn't even know existed. Becoming mommy and daddy to this little miracle is the greatest joy I have ever had in my life...and I feel so lucky to have been given this precious gift.

So please excuse me while I snuggle up with my baby and cry these happy tears and thank God every day that he chose this sweet little boy to be ours <3


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